Saturday, June 7, 2008

I'm discombobulated

Where to go from here.

To try again with a positive attitude, or to accept a negative outlook and give up without trying to have another child.

Having my son Gabriel die due to Mrs. Spit's pre-eclampsia means that we have a pretty decent chance at going through that hell again.

Let's put it this way, in baseball, we'd be pretty damn good batsmen if we were hitting .300. Well, that's roughly our chance of ending up with another bout of pre-e the next time we try for a baby.

Gabriel is dead, and I'm not sure if I even want to try again - except for those times that I'm sure that I want to try again.

I'm feeling tired, exhausted really. And in the midst of it all, I'm feeling discombobulated. I don't know my own mind, and it f'n sucks.

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