In lieu of my son

While I'm enjoying the series I'm doing on building a bridge, I'm feeling rather melancholy about the whole thing at the same time.

You see, as I detail the process of building a bridge, I'm surprising myself at how much I can talk about it. I know, some people find it boring, but then - I'm not very well versed in the world of knitting and I still read Mrs. Spit's blog! (love you dear!)

The thing is... I can't help but think of the enjoyment that I would have taken in teaching my son about the world, and about the little corner of it that constitutes my job.

I continue to mourn the future that I will never have here on Earth with Gabe. Everything about his time cooking in the oven, I could only dream of what I would do my my child once they came. When Gabriel was born and died, so too did my dreams of a future with him die in that delivery room.

I miss you Gabe. I'm so glad that you Mom lived, because this life would suck so much worse if I had lost you both.